Sermon Illustrations: Politics & Politicians

What do you call ten MPs at the bottom of the Suez Canal? A start.

I'm a politician and as a politician I have the prerogative to lie whenever I want. US politician Charles Peacock

A politician flying from Brisbane to Cairns, drew out $50 and said, "I'm going to make somebody very happy. I'm going to throw this $50 out the window, and whoever finds it will be very happy." Someone said, "Why don't you change it into ten $5 notes and make ten people happy?" While he was considering this, a member of the opposition said from the other side of the plane, "Why don't you make everybody happy, and throw yourself out?"

Employment ad for politicians in heaven: Wanted, blokes to rule heaven, must be able to vote own pay rises, call each other names, pass useless laws, no experience necessary.